She broke up with Me !

So they say, every love comes to an end. Or does it?

I thought otherwise until it happened to me. Or did it?

Is it the end of the relationship? Or is it just a breakup and we will meet again. I hope we do.

We had a year long relationship. One Year and 7 days to be precise. Its the time when I came to this city in south. We had a really good time together for like 3-4 months then I kind of didn't pay that much attention, got busy with other stuff. But for the few weeks I had only my beautiful Elf in mind. The relationship was back strong. I was too happy with her for the few days. It was kind of a performance tweak. And then this huge blow, suddenly without even saying a good bye :(.

What happened? What went wrong?

Some might say that I cheated but thats not the thing. I paid equal attention to both of them, Gharwali and Baharwali. And I am sure they both knew that too. They had a great ActiveSync partnership working between them. I guess losing a baharwali is more difficult.

Well thats how they(my friends) say... my lappy T42 is my Gharwali for enjoying at home, and P3450 my Baharwali for outdoors. Yes, my HTC Touch P3450 codename Elf has left me, or I can say the Big Bastard world came between us.

So let me tell you the story, So that I dont have to tell it over and over again.

It happened today, the cloudy weather outside made a way into my life. I as usual woke up late and started for my office. On the way I found an auto and the guy asking 20 Rs extra on the metered fare. I argued and got it settled to 10 Rs. extra. Well everything was usual daily routine until now. When I got down at office, while taking out my wallet I kept the Elf on my bag beside me. Then there was this problem of change of 100Rs. I came out and asked a colleague who was passing by. He gave me the money I gave it to the Auto driver and took the bag and left. I pulled the bag from the handle without looking so he mobile dropped over there. I went upstairs and realised, started calling the number nobody picked it, then somebody started rejecting the call and then switched it off. Well I and you kinda knew this was going to happen.

Well rest you know what I had to do, called customer care barred outgoing calls. Went to customer care office got a duplicate SIM card. Went to police station with the IMEI number filed the complaint.

Now I seriously hope that the good guys of the Police Dept find her out. Otherwise, I am stuck here with a company provided Nokia 1100, Oh my god !!

Well for those who dont know HTC Touch product code name is ELF. If properly tweaked she runs like hell :). Wish the breakup gets over and we are back together. Hope you add a prayer for me.

Why I sleep late?

My usual routines includes sleeping late. Recently, Apart from some reasons which I knew, I found one more cause which would have made me sleep late although subconsciously. The reason is that when I lay on my bed and try to sleep. I leave my mind to relax and that's when it starts wandering in the overcrowded empty space.

It feels like there is some hollow space filled with a lot of dreams and aspirations. Every night either I revisit one of that old aspiration or I create a new one. While lying in the bed just before sleep I think of doing things which I want to do; of things which I have to do; of things that I can't do; and of things that I couldn't do.

Sometimes I plan really big things, sometimes small. But there are mere few which I have brought into action. When I think about the reasons for it I find probably its because I am more of a thinker than a doer. And maybe because as once said by one of my close friend that "My entropy is high". I usually cant stand with one thing for too long (it feels like I am wasting my time and proceeding in the wrong direction so I chose another and finally dissatisfaction). Another reason maybe is I want to do a lot of things and all I have is such a small life with even less time for myself and even lesser time to work on one of them with full devotion and then I shall not forget to mention the wide range of moods that I have. So a match of a mood to a todo action is even lesser. For example right now I am in an introspective mood with a touch of distressing thoughts.

I don't do much physical work in my daily routine and therefore getting tired is unusual. All that feel tired in my body are my eyes and my hands after clicking the mouse and hitting the keyboard all day long. So falling to bed and sleeping in an instant is a privilege which I don't have. So to avoid long session of distressing thoughts and rolling restlessly on the bed and then thinking of writing a blog about it and finally getting frustrated over the whole stupid thing. I sleep late by keeping myself engaged in hitting the keyboard and clicking the mouse.

Don't know how long this is going to last. I think there are many others wondering the same for themselves.

The Tale of a Date

She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Nivedita, a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.

It's been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadn't spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.

It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake.

I didn't know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.

From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.

Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Nivedita and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.

I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek, but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.

Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born.

I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I haven't been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times 'Something is better than nothing!' and I made up my mind to do 'something'.

I fixed today to be the 'DATE' for throwing open in front of her the 'TALE' of my pure love for her. I don't know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.

Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg…

My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My 'UKG' classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.

I hope my 'MOTHER' Nivedita will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal 'BROTHER' Vivek.

See you after a break!!!

With Love,

Deepak UKG-B

P.S. you know what

...source internet...

Lonely

Lonely,So lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely,
So lonely So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely
Lonely I'm Mr Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my own
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody, For my own
I'm so lonely

It seems this Diwali I am going to sing this song all alone and so lonely...

Won't be able to go home...
Everyone's going and I will be stuck here...

and will be singing So lonely...

I will be lonely amidst the crowd...

So lonely...

Going to miss my family & friends...